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<div style="position:absolute; top:0; left: 575; width: 301; height: 100%; visibility: visible; id=" scroll3"="scroll3"" class="side"> <br> <b>Maintainer Information</b><br> <br> Emily;<br> <a href="http://__sicklullaby.livejournal.com">lj</a><br> <a href="aim:goim?screenname=sicklullaby&message=Maintainer+Emily">aim</a><br> <a href="mailto:sicklullaby@msn.com">e-mail</a><br></center> <br> Ariana;<br> <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/xspecialk">lj</a><br> <a href="aim:goim?screenname=anauraofruby&message=Maintainer+Ariana">aim</a><br> <a href="mailto:wehescubaelf@yahoo.com">e-mail</a><br></center> <br> <b>Community</b><br> <br> <a href=http://www.livejournal.com/userinfo.bml?user=love_ed>Community Information</a><br> <br> This community supports ALL types of eating disorders, whether you have one, or just support them.<br> <br> <br> </blockquote> </div> <img src="http://img3.photobucket.com/albums/v32/CxS_Emily/Lj%20signs/55b28df1.jpg" class="x" scroll="no"> <style type="text/css"> <!-- table table table table .meta {visibility: hidden} table table table table table .meta {visibility: visible} .x { position:absolute; left:0; top:0; z-index: -10; } table { margin-left: 10px; } .shadowed td div { position: absolute; top: 1px } --> </style>
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[Saturday-December 2nd, 2006]

I join this community only because I'd like to help someone..

Im Coral and I dont have ed, im very thin and I eat to much and I never get weight... and many people think I have some ed.....
Girls/Boys this is not okay, this is not something easy that you can do and the next day stop it, its an addiction, its wrong, every person its beautiful !! I mean you may not have a supermodel, but why trying to look like someone else, are you a copy? I mean its not fair for your friends and family when they find out about it.. its not cool, there is other ways to loose weight like making a sport, or eating the right things, I mean bulimia and anorexia are not the only way, when you have a ed you dont look right, you look sick !! and ugly, you look tired, I mean its not fair to your body .... if someone here has an ed please look for help, I mean dont say you can stop it, because you can, the mind its the most powerful thing, if it is your friend not your enemy, I wish I could help you, because thats really sad, I mean Adriana Lima, Tyra Banks, Heidi Klum, they are supermodels and they dont look freaking bad, beauty its about whats inside...

seriously some of you need help...
1 support eating disorders!

[Saturday-September 9th, 2006]

I went on vacation for a week and I knew that I had put on a few pounds, not a huge deal. But. Twice in one week two separate friends said that they could tell. One said that he thought I put on some weight and the other said that I look thicker than I used to. So. I haven't eaten in 5 days. And I love how I am starting to look. The end.
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I've been really bad lately. [Thursday-June 15th, 2006]

[ mood | melancholy ]

For a week I basically starved myself. The first couple days I would eat one small meal (a falafel sandwich or something of equal size/proportion) and the rest of the week consisted of a handful of crackers at night or a tiny salad with fat free dressing. I've been eating between 250-500 calories a day for over a week now and I punish myself for anything over that amount. I feel disgusting after what I just ate today...two 100 calorie packs of chocolate chip cookies, two pieces of bread, a chocolate lollipop, and a handful of pistachios. I'm at my all time low (118) but I won't stop until I reach 115, my ultimate goal. I know I ate next to nothing today but I feel bloated and gross.

1 support eating disorders!

What has happened? [Monday-October 10th, 2005]


What has happened to this community? People asking how to have an eating disorder?

Do people not realize that it is a disease - and not a weight-lose technique. Many people with eating disorders arent even underweight, myself included. I have been striggling with bulimia for two years, and though I have never been overweight (even before I started to purge) I am rarely underweight, or even the weight that I would like to be.
You have no idea how much I would like to stop throwing up my meals, how much I would like to be able to eat a muffin and not want to go and throw-up afterwards, how much I would like to go out to dinner with my family and not feel disgusting for the 1/2 after I eat and have to wait until I get home to get rid of my food. Or how much I would like to not have to schedule my meals during class periods, so I can use my hall bathroom without my roommate (or anyone else for that matter) walking in on me. Who would want this?

I didn't really choose to purge, its something that I'd been doing whenever I felt like I had over eaten since I was a preteen, and only in the past 2 years has it become a more consant part of my life. It is just something that happens, and its more of an addiction then anything else, I don't do it to lose weight. I'll purge every meal I eat for two months, lose 10 pounds, then eat for 3 days, gain 12  pounds and fast for 3 weeks because I'm so disgusted with myself. My weight is like a roller coaster. I break out whenever I throw up - so its almost like a choice between being skinny and a clear complection, I pray that my roommate doesn't notice when I go to the bathroom after every meal and come back with a runny nose and teared eyes. I'm ashamed when I go to the dentist and there is a cavity, even though I havn't eaten a candy bar in 4 years. I am tired all day, yet suffer from insomnia and can't go to sleep before 6:30 in the morning. I have a perpetual cold that never goes away, and mouth sores that last forever.
Again I ask, who would want this.
I guess bulimia and anorexia have a glamorous stigma to them - as the stuff of supermodels or something. But I am anything but a supermodel. I suffer from self-esteem slightly above that of a cardboard box, and even at my lighest weight I can't look in the mirror for more then 10 seconds without breaking down because of every imperfection of my body. When my parents found out a year ago, they put me in therapy - which I have had to go to since. A loon in a tie telling me that I don't need to kill myself to be beautiful, or to have control over my life. A best friend who follows me into the bathroom whenever she is around me.

I won't tell anyone how to throw-up, if you can't its better that way. I won't tell anyone if laxatives work - if you can't figure it out, again, its better. Those who truely need help and support are not those who beg for eating disorders - they are those who don't ask the questions. For those people who go into their bathrooms quietly and experiement to see what will make them feel empty - and therefore full - inside.
Those of you who seem to think that is a 'get thin quick' scheme should be ashamed. People have ruined their lives with this stuff.

2 support eating disorders!

help!! [Thursday-October 6th, 2005]

I can not make myself thow-up.
How do you do it?
I want to sooo bad..i dyeing to loose weight!
I am 5'7 and weigh 127...i feel so unbilevably fat.

I would fast but i cant cause my mom is obsessive that i have breakfast, lunch, and supper every day.

i cant take it anymore im just so fat! i want it gone!
I love the thin feeling when i dont eat for awhile!!

So can someone please tell how to make urself throw-up... i have tryed sticking my fingers down my throught but the only thing that happens is that i gag.
any other advice to loose weight
8 support eating disorders!

HELP! [Friday-August 12th, 2005]

Oh boy...what have I done...
I told myself I'd never buy any medication laxatives... Now I'm paying the price for my hyporcracy. Fuck. I didn't realize I bought the slowest acting laxatives 8-12 hours. And I have a concert to go to during the time period the laxative(I ate double the reccomended dose) is supposed to kick in. I ran for an hour and ate some prunes...hopefully that will speed up the process before the concert.... Anyone have any words of advice.
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So I'm new [Wednesday-August 10th, 2005]


I'm 17 and i've been on-again, off-again mia for over a year and a half (it started a New Years Day night).

I've tried everything, from purgeing to laxatives, to breaking down and crying trying to get help after my 5th purge of the day, some 7 months ago. After trying to go clan for almost 5 months, I've decided that it couldn't be less worth it. I can't stand the thought of weighing as much as I do. I'm bloated and disgusting - and i'm binge eating, but without the purge. I'm leaving for college in 2 1/2 weeks, and I want to be amazing. I feel like losing just...even just 5 pounds will make me look 1000% better, and feel 1000% better, but none of my friends get this. I've made some sobbing confessions when my best friend has confronted me - but she doesn't really understand why I feel the need to clean myself out.

this is the only way that I can go.

*sigh* stats...
Height - 5"0'
HW - 123 (blah)
LW - I honestly don't know. I swear off scales when I feel good about myself. Or at least, when I don't feel horrible about myself. I'm afraid that the number will be high and then I'll go through another 3 months of hating myself before I can be happy. I'm guessing - 90ish?
CW - 117 (way too close to that HW)
GW - 110 (for college, then 97 - 20 lbs)


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Help ASAP!! [Friday-June 17th, 2005]

Im a bit frightened by the lady sitting next to me. Her mouth is open making unsettling guttural noises,while typing blindly at her screen, yet glasses sit in front of her... Odd...

Fucked, is what I will be unless I can find a diet pill or vitamin/diet-suppressant with am·phet·a·mine in it.

A colorless, volatile liquid, C9H13N, used as a central nervous system stimulant in the treatment of certain conditions, such as attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, depression, and narcolepsy, and abused illegally as a stimulant.
A derivative of amphetamine, such as dextroamphetamine or a phosphate or sulfate of amphetamine.

Please help me find a drug with simlar properties as Adderal, so I have an excuss for an amphetamine showing up on my dru test.
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New x3 [Sunday-May 15th, 2005]

[ mood | sore ]

Hey I'm new here. My name is Lauren and I'm 15. I was diagnosed with ana in Febuary. My low weight was 121 and my high weight was 150 from being in the hospital. Now I just recently came out of the hospital and weigh 146. My starting goal is 120. I need a lot of support and motivation to keep me going. My thinspiration is Julia Stiles and Mary Kate. Anyway does anyone wear a red ana bracelet? I just got one yesterday. I look at it if I start to lose hope in being thinner. I was wearing it at the gym today and it kept me going. A good thing about me is I push myself past my limit. I joined weight watchers to make everything look like just a diet. I stay low in calories and points. Because in WW you are sopossed to have all your points I only use half each day. Its the same as counting calories. Does anyone take risperdal?I think thats what caused me to gain so much. Think Thin. * MwAh *

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[Monday-April 25th, 2005]

I just moved out of my house aweek ago, and Im now living w/ my friend. Her mom never comes home so its just the two of us...Her and I both get money from our folks for food. She has $40 dollars a week to buy food and such, and I have $25. We are both currently looking for jobs, and cannot afford much to eat. She is used to buying starches (bread rice) to eat because they come cheap...I on the other hand prefer veggies and fruit. She wants to combine money to buy groceries but Id rather buy my own food. Im living in her house, so its a bit hard to tell her no, I wont eat your food...
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[Thursday-April 21st, 2005]

I've heard that if you mix baking soda and water and drink it, you'll throw everything up in five minutes.

Is this true?
1 support eating disorders!

X-posted [Friday-April 15th, 2005]

I need to go on a fast. I told my boyfriend I wont let him see me naked for at least two months. Im going to be 110 at the most...I swear on everything I can do this. I just need some hardcore motivation, someone to keep a check up on me. Will any of you gals/guys out there help me fast/fast w/ me? Im starting As of right now. no food will touch these lips for two weeks.
Leave me a message on LJ
IM me:pinkpanther92887
email me: Xxpain4pleasurexX@hotmail.com
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fatty mc'fat [Friday-April 1st, 2005]

[ mood | anxious ]

Hello all.
I haven't updated for the past three months, because I'm so ashamed of my weight balloning up to 135...eck! Im going to school at the ymca and I'm working out everyday, or every other day...sometimes twice a day. Which I will be committing to doing twice a day everyday. I know that weight training is to be done every other day, but I'm going to do some sort of aerobic and cardio exercise everyday. I noticed cellulite on the back of my legs, which has never been there before. My mum said if I continue working out everyday, I'll lose the cellulite, and tone up + drop noticable pounds within 3 months...does that sound right? Anyone have any tips for toning up within 2 months perhaps?

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[Monday-February 28th, 2005]

hey i'm new ive been ana for about 6 months now and i love it! It's just people are starting to watch especially my parents and there at the point where dinner is a must so ive come to the realization that i have to purge after dinner! i know this may sound weird but anyway here it goes...how long should i wait to purge, b/c i try to right after and it dosent work out that great...any tips would be loved...yeah that sounds weird but anyway i was just wondering
4 support eating disorders!

going so well [Sunday-January 23rd, 2005]
I know ive just joined and this is my second post but I absolutly have to share this. I've lost 6lbs in the last 6 days and I'm on day two of my 5 day fast and its going great. I havent cheated once and ive drank at least 200 oz of water a day which is really good at least for me.
1 support eating disorders!

Am I in hell, or is this a nightmare? [Wednesday-January 19th, 2005]

I'm at loss for words,
when it comes to describing the past two days.

all I wanted was knowledge
A thinking processing, storing, retrieving, brain.

My own persona, self-bring is not to be trusted
as a logical judge of reality.
I'm torn between where I hope to be and where I am.
Giving up is a fat piece of raspberry chocolate cake
compared to living.
pyschology and religion wont help,
I can pray and talk my problems
to the air,
but that will not fix my lack of my non-existent motivation.
I dream of writing a book on anorexia and suicide,
or bulimia and depression.
I dream of acting
making the big lights of hollywood shin down on me.
I dream of knowing where I stand
and what I stand for.
I hope to give up on these childish fantasies
come back to reality, where my knees are to the ground
and I'm begging to be called by my name.

Some of it doesn't right, and I know I'm not the best poet,
but thats all I can say to explain my lack of _____.

My mom is hysterically crying, over ? She just broke up w/ her boyfriend for the 5th-10th time? I lost count.
I'm to blame I already know it...I'm so fucking self-centered, I slept all day because I didn't want to get up and deal w/ life
and then my mom comes home early to talk about last night, which basically was her guilt-tripping over her out burst rage. My friend A.J called me up around 5pm yesterday to see if I'd like to go to the park across from my house and make a fire in one of the shelters pits. I haven't been out of the house much in the past month, and it was raining lightly and such a perfect night, I couldn't avoid the offer. I called my mom because she's odd about knowing where I am and who I'm w/ at all moments...I told her about the fire pit and she said it was raining...and I had just fucked up on saturday for going to the vera project to volunteer w/o callign her before I left...bleh, to make the story go quicker...She told me on the phone maybe, and then wouldnt give me an answer untill she got home at 7pm, which is inconsiterate...AJ had already made the fire at 6:30 and was waiting for me by then...she then told me I couldnt go because she "knew" I'd be smoking and drinking and having sex, and what have you not...(which it was in truth AJ and I talking by the fire. Not doing anything scandy in the least bit!) I told her she could call my cell, or walk down and check on me if she was so parinod...she threatned to call the police if I left...ahah...it ended up her calling AJ's cell threatening to call his parents and complain...which she did and lied about a few things in the process...and AJ and I finally decided to go back after a short 20min of stressing out over her...she wouldn't pick up the phone(typical childish behavior of hers) and then when I got to the door I could see her in the window w/ her back turned and she wouldn't answer...I was just about ready to give up and go spend the night at a friends, when AJ tried coxing her through the door...which worked, and she opened and gave as an unblinking glare and spit fire into our faces about how im to irresponsibe and childish to go to the park w/ him....
Today she left me a note saying she felt bad that we can't get along...
but that I needed to follow her rules. She wanted me to go to lunch w/ her, but I refused because I already knew shed lecture me about how Im wrong and she is right. She came home early saying she couldn't stand being at work over this..but I believe it was her boyfriend Edgardo, who she felt so horrible about, and she took it out on me...fuck this...I feel like a bitch for telling her to stop her blubbering and get off the floor because its pathatic..but she does that often to me when im crying, and I dont want to feel sorry for her, because thats the reaction I think she wants from me...why else would she be hysterically crying so I can hear her through-out the entire 2 story house!!!!

I'm not going to weigh myself untill the end of the month...I've been binging and purging so my weight is probably up, last time I checked...sorry for letting you gals down on the fast...I haven't eaten a pinch today, and hopefully this drama will do me some good, if ya know what I mean.

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[Friday-January 14th, 2005]

I have a damn song stuck in my head and I dont even know who sings it or if I have the words right.
All I know is im hearing,
"SEX BON< SEX BON YOUR MY BON" over and over in my head...but for somereason I think the original lyrics are "CASH BON"
Someone tell me what song this is, before I go stalk mad!
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Just another Barbie w/ her head popped off. [Wednesday-January 12th, 2005]


I binged after 6days of my fast.... I'm not goign to weigh myself till the 17th ....Im sorry I screwed up, gals :-/ This means I'm fasting till the end of the month....NO FOOD WHAT SO EVER!

All of ya'll involved in the fast give me your ending results on the 18th.... We'll also do a follow up stats check at the end of the month.

HAR HAR HAR, last thursday on the metro I saw the ugliest obese woman and she was holding a ventii starbucks near her fat sack(crotch area)...ewww I had my camera and should have taken a picture for thinspiration, but I didn't want to ask to snap a photo. HA, what was I to say "Do you mind if I capture youre moment of starbucks delight, while you hold the cup near your oozing of crotch fat." ewwww!!!!! I swear ana ploped me down on that bus just to witness the horrendous site, as a warning not to break my fast...but I didn't listen and soon I will be a tub of lard-ass.


1 support eating disorders!

[Monday-January 10th, 2005]

Borrowed from the Red Bracelet website. Some of you may have already seen this. But sometimes repetition can be good. I have a few tips and tricks of my own that I will share in the future. Enjoy. Crossposted. Mods, let me know if this is unacceptable in anyway.

Tips and TricksCollapse )
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[Wednesday-January 5th, 2005]

I will not be weighing in untill monday...I want to be suprised when I see the numbers drop. Weighing twice a day or more takes the fun out of the fast for me.
I hit the slopes this weekend, wish me luck and enough energy to survive w/ out giving into food.
Love ya'll,
and hope youre fasting is working.
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